


i know it hurts so much to see me change; you raised me in the best possible way

by boyfriem



Category: Dororo (Anime 2019)
Genre: Family Feels, Gen, Not Canon Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 14:15:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18758092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boyfriem/pseuds/boyfriem
Summary: “Hey, Dad.” The words stick in his throat, but he’s used to having trouble speaking.For a second, the world stops moving. Jukkai stares at him and he stands there with worry building in his chest and even Dororo is, for once, still.And then Jukkai pulls him into a hug, and everything jumps back to life.aka Hyakkimaru completes his mission (kinda) and finally returns home





	i know it hurts so much to see me change; you raised me in the best possible way

**Author's Note:**

> this is a drabble I started and then abandoned after episode 5 when I thought that hyakkimaru's lost leg would be permanent, i remembered and picked it up again after ep 17 bc i needed some more jukkai content 
> 
> title is from transient by the blank minds bc not only does it fit the fic but that song truly and irrevocably slaps 
> 
> also disclaimer bc i didn't wanna crowd up the tags if u don't think dororo is a trans boy kindly get away from my fic thx

The world is so new, so unfamiliar, but even so, some things will always be the same. As Hyakkimaru makes the journey to Jukkai’s home, he finds himself remembering things, even if they’re different than they were before. He didn’t recognize clearly the hills surrounding the village when he was young, the road winding out into the forest, the houses in their neat little rows. His world when he lived here was silent and dark and unfeeling, and though he misses the calm of being senseless sometimes, he stares around in awe as they approach the village. 

“What’s with that look on your face?” Dororo asks. “It’s just another village.” 

But it’s  _ his  _ village. 

This is where he grew up, this is where he learned to write and walk and fight, and seeing it for the first time is...incredible. Better than anything he’s ever seen before. 

“How d’you know where you’re going if you’ve never seen it before?” Dororo asks as they head down the road, running on his tiny legs just to keep up. 

Hyakkimaru shrugs. Muscle memory, he supposes. Though there’s no particular muscle involved in his memories of this place…

Dororo rolls his eyes. “I hate it when you don’t answer.” 

Hyakkimaru doesn’t point out that that  _ was  _ an answer… sort of. He likes to keep conversations short. Speech is one of the things he’s never really gotten used to. He lived without it for so many years that it just feels like an unnecessary tool, so he prefers silence most of the time, much as it frustrates Dororo. He does  _ try  _ to talk, really, but his voice is so rough and unfamiliar even now. 

It’s just easier to go without it, really. 

“Sorry,” he says. There. Answer. 

“‘S alright,” Dororo mumbles -- apologies make him uncomfortable. 

Hyakkimaru keeps walking without answer, and a few seconds later he feels Dororo grab his hand. He smiles to himself, pulling Dororo a bit closer, and holds onto him until they reach Jukkai’s workshop. 

“This is it,” he says. He thinks. He hopes, really. His senses brought him here, and he’s always been one to trust his instincts, but all he can really think is that if he were to knock on someone else’s door that would be pretty embarrassing. 

“What are you waiting for?” Dororo nudges him. “Knock.” 

“I-” 

“ _ Knock, _ ” Dororo repeats insistently. 

“Fine,” he snaps. But he still doesn’t move. He’s thinking about this for the first time, like,  _ really  _ thinking about it, and nothing he thinks is particularly good. Will Jukkai be pleased to see him? Confused? Will he be disappointed in Hyakkimaru for managing to lose a limb for good, for being so careless that he let something get stolen from him that he has no right to get back? 

Dororo rolls his eyes and knocks for him. 

“Coming!” a voice calls from inside, completely new but at the same time, so very familiar. He’s never heard Jukkai talk, sure, but his voice sounds exactly like it should. Deep and soft and really, truly, kind. 

“You look like you’re gonna pass out,” Dororo says. Hyakkimaru shoves him softly, and he retaliates by kicking him in his good leg. 

“Hey!” he starts, but he doesn’t get a chance to fight back, because the door opens and Jukkai is staring at him and he’s staring back -- he realizes that this is the first time he’s seen his father’s face, and isn’t that a little strange? His face, like his voice, suits him perfectly. 

“Hyakkimaru?” he breathes, his voice barely a whisper. He sounds shocked, and he has every right to be, but still, it doesn’t help Hyakkimaru’s nerves. 

Dororo stands on his tiptoes to hiss in his ear, “You need to say something,” and he supposes he’s right. He’s been silent for too long, and they’re only here because of him and his own carelessness, so shouldn’t he be the one to talk? 

“Hey, Dad.” The words stick in his throat, but he’s used to having trouble speaking. 

For a second, the world stops moving. Jukkai stares at him and he stands there with worry building in his chest and even Dororo is, for once, still. 

And then Jukkai pulls him into a hug, and everything jumps back to life. 

“I- um- you’re crushing me,” he mumbles, gasping for breath when Jukkai lets go. The doctor doesn’t know his own strength. 

Jukkai does a quick once-over, taking in a body that barely existed the last time Hyakkimaru saw him, then puts a gentle hand on his shoulder and says, “You really did it. I’m so proud of you, Hyakkimaru.” 

His heart swells at the sound of his name coming from his father’s mouth, but he can’t make himself enjoy it, not when guilt is twisting knots in his stomach. “Well… I, um, I didn’t quite…” 

Jukkai frows and waits patiently for him to finish. He can’t. He’s gotten better at articulating his thoughts, turning emotions and senses into words that make sense to other people, but when he gets worked up it’s all he can do not to scream helplessly like a wild animal until Dororo steps in and attempts to interpret things for him. 

Which he does now, thankfully, though he could stand to be a little more tactful about it as he explains a little too cheerfully, “Aniki’s leg got bitten off by a big demon!” 

“Oh, my,” Jukkai laughs softly, “who are you?” 

“Dororo!” 

“How about you two come inside?” Jukkai suggests. “You look like you could use something to eat.” 

So they go inside, and Jukkai makes dinner, and Hyakkimaru doesn’t mention his leg. 

Dororo is lively enough to keep up the conversation in his stead, and Jukkai doesn’t mind that he doesn’t talk. It makes sense -- he’s used to it, after all. 

Dororo gets full eventually (it’s rare for him, but there  _ are  _ limits to his hunger, and Jukkai is kind and patient enough to exhaust them), and he takes Hyakkimaru’s old bed at Jukkai’s insistence and curls up underneath the blankets Hyakkimaru never had any use for. By the time Hyakkimaru is helping Jukkai take the dishes outside to clean them, he’s already fallen asleep. 

They wash their dishes in silence for a little bit, and then, all of a sudden, Jukkai says, “You’ve changed.” 

“I know,” Hyakkimaru replies. He has an entirely new body, almost, but he knows that’s not what his father means. 

“I didn’t want to say anything in front of Dororo…” Jukkai pauses, choosing his words carefully. There’s an edge to his voice that Hyakkimaru wouldn’t expect from someone as kind as him, “but you’ve killed people, haven’t you?” 

Hyakkimaru is at a loss for words. It’s incredibly hard to breathe all of a sudden. What’s he supposed to say? He can’t just  _ lie _ . 

He nods, wordlessly, shakily, and Jukkai says, grimly, “I could tell.” 

“I didn’t- I mean- I didn’t want to,” he stammers, stumbling over the words. Where’s Dororo when you need him? “I won’t do it again.” 

“I believe you,” Jukkai replies solemnly. “But… sometimes I wish I hadn’t sent you out into the world like that. The things you must have done…” 

“I did what I had to do,” Hyakkimaru protests defensively.

Jukkai sighs heavily. “I’m not mad at you, Hyakkimaru. What’s done is done. All that matters now is that you live the best life you can.” 

“I will,” he insists earnestly. 

“I know.” Jukkai puts down a freshly cleaned bowl and wraps his arms around Hyakkimaru. It’s a softer hug than the one he gave him earlier -- more like the ones Hyakkimaru is used to. Jukkai has always hugged him like he’s fragile, like one wrong move could break him. 

“I really am proud of you, you know,” Jukkai tells him. 

He doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t need to. 

Jukkai will understand. 

**Author's Note:**

> if you liked this fic consider following me on here or on tumblr @boyfriem


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